I Am More Mature At 24 Than I Was At 18
I used to envy my peers who I thought were farther in life than I was because they were graduating college and I couldn’t even get past the first semester. Â
I’m guilty of spending time on social  media comparing my life to the lives of others thinking “I’m so behind” or “I could’ve had this degree if I had stayed focused in school!”
After graduating high school, I lacked motivation. I wasn’t focused, mature or appreciative of the opportunities I had in front of me. It wasn’t until later in life that I stopped comparing myself to others and decided to finish what I had started years ago.
I jumped from job to job because I was incapable of holding one for more than a year. I wasn’t mature enough.
After spending almost a year unemployed, my car caught on fire because I was unable to pay for the maintenance issues it had. So now I was unemployed and carless. My previous attempts at college courses resulted in either failing or withdrawing from the class because I wasn’t focused enough. Â
I wasn’t appreciative of the opportunity I had to go to school for free and now I find myself paying for classes out of pocket to raise my grade point average because of the decisions I made when I was younger.
Being a young mother at 20 and having a complicated birth was just the beginning. When my son, Santiago Angel Roque, who is 4 years old now, got kicked out of his first Pre-K class for behavioral issues, he started showing signs of autism (flapping of the hands, lining up toys, hypersensitivity).
I spent the following year going to endless therapy sessions, evaluations and doctor’s appointments so that he could get the help he needed and get accepted into the Florida Diagnostic & Learning  Resources System, which specializes in providing education for children with disabilities.
I never got the chance to tell Santiago’s father his diagnosis because a week before I found out, his dad passed away in his sleep due to an overdose.
Experiencing the loss of my son’s father was unexpected and painful. I was already a single mom before he passed away, but the reality set in once it was time to say goodbye.
It took his death to realize how precious life is. I realized it was time to stop being selfish with myself and use the potential I was given. My parents sacrificed for me so that I could have the opportunity for a better future, so now it is my turn as a parent to sacrifice so that I can provide that same opportunity to my son. He deserves it.