I Am More Mature At 24 Than I Was At 18

I used to envy my peers who I thought were farther in life than I was because they were graduating college and I couldn’t even get past the first semester.  

I’m guilty of spending time on social  media comparing my life to the lives of others thinking “I’m so behind” or “I could’ve had this degree if I had stayed focused in school!”

After graduating high school, I lacked motivation. I wasn’t focused, mature or appreciative of the opportunities I had in front of me. It wasn’t until later in life that I stopped comparing myself to others and decided to finish what I had started years ago.

I jumped from job to job because I was incapable of holding one for more than a year. I wasn’t mature enough.

After spending almost a year unemployed, my car caught on fire because I was unable to pay for the maintenance issues it had. So now I was unemployed and carless. My previous attempts at college courses resulted in either failing or withdrawing from the class because I wasn’t focused enough.  

I wasn’t appreciative of the opportunity I had to go to school for free and now I find myself paying for classes out of pocket to raise my grade point average because of the decisions I made when I was younger.

Being a young mother at 20 and having a complicated birth was just the beginning. When my son, Santiago Angel Roque, who is 4 years old now, got kicked out of his first Pre-K class for behavioral issues, he started showing signs of autism (flapping of the hands, lining up toys, hypersensitivity).

I spent the following year going to endless therapy sessions, evaluations and doctor’s appointments so that he could get the help he needed and get accepted into the Florida Diagnostic & Learning  Resources System, which specializes in providing education for children with disabilities.

I never got the chance to tell Santiago’s father his diagnosis because a week before I found out, his dad passed away in his sleep due to an overdose.

Experiencing the loss of my son’s father was unexpected and painful. I was already a single mom before he passed away, but the reality set in once it was time to say goodbye.

It took his death to realize how precious life is. I realized it was time to stop being selfish with myself and use the potential I was given. My parents sacrificed for me so that I could have the opportunity for a better future, so now it is my turn as a parent to sacrifice so that I can provide that same opportunity to my son. He deserves it.